Some days, the dark energies envelope us, leaving a residue of despair in the air around us and encompassing our very being. Today is one of those days for me—not because I’m thinking negatively, but because there’s an anger brewing inside me that needs to come out. I wouldn’t even say my mood is entirely dark, but it’s certainly filled with frustration. This frustration is amplified by decades of being on the receiving end of a medical model that dismissed both my body and mind as a woman. And today, I felt it again, though it was on a subtler level that even the women involved in this new study seemed oblivious to.
The anger I feel is a fleeting surge of dark energy, pushing me to act—to put into motion passions that have otherwise stayed dormant due to fear of backlash, conflict, or the anticipation of some kind of social rejection. I know, however, that this anger won’t stick around for long. Just long enough for me to write this blog post and share it with the world. I’m far too aware of the dangers of allowing anger to fester. I’ve known many people who have let their anger grow into illness, some even dying with their anger still inside them, having done nothing productive with it. I, on the other hand, today plan to use this anger for action, for motivation, to be productive and get these messages out into the world. And I will feel better for airing my voice, for having a voice, and I hope someone, somewhere, finds the contents of this vent useful in some way.
The darkness I felt today came from an unexpected source: a webinar hosted by university staff. I won’t name the institution or the lecturers involved—I'll keep them anonymous, not out of fear, but because I am a health coach with a job and a family to support. There are always agendas and hoops we have to jump through, preventing us from fully showing ourselves in the social world. So, I speak my truth as much as I can, within the restrictions that society places on me through the roles I perform in life and at work.
This morning, I attended a webinar—yes, on a Saturday morning, during my valuable leisure time—where the results of what I thought was pioneering research into PCOS were being shared with the community, including women like myself who live with this condition. I had been looking forward to it, but by the end, I felt consumed by anger. Anger, I should add, that I’ve spent years coming to terms with and managing more successfully in recent times. On this occasion, I knew the anger was justified. It wasn’t misplaced but directed at a healthcare system that has consistently let me down, and a research approach that clearly wasn’t benefiting the women participating, despite being portrayed as though it was.
I could sense that the research was highlighting a broken medical system that had been failing women for years, and the participants were completely unaware of it. They were being told that the medical community was finally helping them through this new research. The women involved clearly trusted the researchers, seeing them as experts leading them toward some kind of salvation. I admit, I had hoped for the same—some up-to-date, revolutionary answers for women like me with PCOS and other hormonal conditions. I am an idealist at heart, always hopeful that healthcare systems will advance to improve the quality of life and health provision for women. But today, I heard nothing new.
I felt deeply disappointed that, after all these years, we are still researching glucose intolerance and insulin resistance in women with PCOS—a topic that has been tested and written about extensively. Yet here were the researchers, giving sugary drinks to women they knew were intolerant to sugar! I thought, "How unethical!" I know from personal experience that if I have sugar, I end up with a fuzzy head at best, and at worst, a migraine, anxiety, and depression that infiltrates every cell of my body, leading to days of mood swings and distress. I immediately recognised the study for what it was—a facade, presenting itself as ethical and in the best interest of women, but clearly doing the opposite under the guise of “research for women.” I was shocked. Purposefully making participants ill in the name of research is, to me, highly unethical.
In fact, I initially felt ostracised from participating in the study because I didn’t want to endure the torment of engaging in a method I knew would harm me. While I wanted to contribute to research that could advance treatments for PCOS in the UK, I wasn’t willing to subject myself to that kind of trauma just for privileged "others" to see "how I react."
What worried me most was hearing the feedback from other women who had participated in the research. Many openly admitted that they had little or no understanding of how their PCOS was linked to insulin resistance and glucose intolerance. One participant even said how positive it was to have access to a glucose test, because she couldn’t get one at her GP surgery. This same woman, who represents the UK’s main PCOS charity, admitted that she had no prior knowledge of how a reduced-sugar diet and exercise could help manage her condition until she became involved in the study. I was in complete shock. What the hell?
This experience confirmed for me that the real problem lies in the lack of PCOS awareness within the medical community. Women are not given basic information at the point of diagnosis, nor are they educated about how they can help themselves manage the condition. I know I wasn’t given any useful advice when I was diagnosed 12 years ago. The only reason I learned about the PCOS-specific diet was through personal research and by attending a course run by a nutritionist specialising in PCOS. She emphasised how the NHS actually provides the wrong dietary advice—recommending a generic "healthy balanced diet" instead of a reduced-sugar, low-glycemic-index diet, which is crucial for managing PCOS.
Of course, every woman’s body and mind are different. For example, my sister also has PCOS and can tolerate more sugar than I can, while I have to follow a strict diet to prevent my whole system from imploding. But the fact remains: women with PCOS are being let down by a healthcare system that doesn’t provide them with basic information on how to manage the condition. It’s simply wrong that women are still not given this basic education.
When I raised the issue of the unethical practice of giving glucose intolerant women sugary drinks in the chat during the webinar (because I couldn’t stay silent any longer), the lead investigators defended their methods by saying it was ethical because this is the same test used for diabetes diagnosis in the UK. They argued it was just like having a large Christmas dinner and experiencing the after-effects. Some of the women, it seemed, didn’t have severe insulin resistance or glucose intolerance and felt fine after the test. But what about those with severe reactions, like me? How did they feel? Were their experiences left out of the research findings to keep up the illusion of an "ethical" study?
Would we give a woman with a nut allergy a nut in the name of research? Of course not, because it could kill her. So why would we give women with glucose intolerance sugary drinks and risk making them seriously ill? To me, that’s just as unethical.
The researchers also emphasised that diet and exercise could help manage PCOS, which, frankly, was nothing new. What we need as women with PCOS is better treatment—not more medication, but access to holistic healthcare providers who specialise in PCOS. We need specific centres that focus on this condition, like they have in other countries. We know enough about how PCOS affects us; now we need action to improve our lives.
The webinar continued, and I heard about their intention to explore PCOS in relation to diabetes—again, a topic that has already been widely researched. Another pointless exercise.
In summary, this webinar was beyond disappointing. But at least it affirmed that the contents of my book on self-management of PCOS are up-to-date. I had hoped I might learn something new, something life-changing that would help me support women in my health coaching practice. Instead, I found myself disappointed, though at least I can confidently say that my advice to women is still current.
I’m so glad I included PCOS in my new book Solar Plexus Nation, which covers diet, exercise, and energy medicine. The holistic approach can help manage hormones for women dealing with PCOS, PMDD, PMS, thyroid issues, and fibromyalgia. This experience has only made me more passionate and determined to spread these messages, so that women realise they have more control over their health and healing journey than the medical community would like us to believe.
If you have PCOS or any other women’s health issue, I’d love to hear how you manage it and your experience with the healthcare system. Please, feel free to get in touch.
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