With the whole of January consumed by a chest infection, followed by two weeks of PMS and a generous side serving of family drama, I’m back! Back in the land of the living, or at least, that’s how it feels after six weeks of just trying to get through each day—dragging myself to work, doing the housework, being present for my immediate family, and ultimately, just attempting to function psychologically, physically, and socially.
I’ll admit, the social aspect has taken a back seat. I dodged interactions,
partly to avoid spreading my various lurgies and partly because I couldn’t be bothered to put on the mask—the
one that makes me look like a high-functioning, happy individual when that was
probably the furthest thing from the truth!
As a health coach working with unemployed people facing various health
conditions, I’m lucky to work mostly remotely, meaning I could admit when I
wasn’t on top form. But still, there was a job to do—listening, supporting, and
guiding others in their health journeys. And inevitably, that meant putting
mine on the back burner, at least during sessions.
Sometimes, I swear life feels like a play. No matter how much I try to be
authentic—with participants, colleagues, managers, family, friends—there’s
always a fine line between honesty and oversharing. We’re told, “It’s good to
talk.” Campaigns, mental health services, even us health coaches, all echo that
mantra. But let’s be real—how much truth do people really want? Would they
really want to hear my unfiltered thoughts about the world I find myself in,
the stage of life I’m at, and how all of it feels wildly at odds with the
identity I feel forced to project just to get through the day?
I’m not here to deep-dive into my personal drama—though I’m sure it would
make for juicy reading. I covered some of that in my book Solar Plexus
Nation, but even then, I steered clear of the full social-family saga
(because, well, those stories aren’t just mine to tell). What I will say is
this: even with all the knowledge I have about stress and anxiety management,
life can still be overwhelming. And nothing brings that to the surface quite
like PMS. The hormonal rollercoaster amplifies anxiety to an absurd degree, and
I know every woman who has experienced severe PMS will be nodding furiously
right now.
But let’s talk about anxiety in general, because it’s a topic that comes up
all the time in my work. If I had a quid for every time someone told me, I’m
just a natural worrier, it’s who I am, I’ve always been this way, and I always
will be—I’d be rich enough to scream “NOOOO” from the rooftops without a
care in the world! Of course, even if I’m mid-PMS meltdown, I won’t actually do
that. But trust me, every fiber of my being is internally shouting: No, you
haven’t always been this way!
You didn’t come out of the womb in an anxious state—well, maybe if your mum
had a stressful pregnancy or a traumatic birth, but that’s another
conversation. The point is: anxiety is learned. And because it’s learned, it
can be unlearned.
Anxiety is a natural response to danger, but in today’s world, we’re
bombarded with stressors 24/7. Over time, many of us get stuck in that anxious
state, accepting it as our default setting. But it’s not. And here’s the
kicker—medication isn’t a long-term fix.
So many times, I’ve had clients stop working with me because they started
antidepressants and suddenly, their panic attacks stopped, or life felt more
tolerable. And hey, I get it—when you’re drowning, you grab the nearest
lifeboat. But often, what they’re really saying is: I’m happy to exist in a
numbed-out state where I don’t feel my emotions properly, don’t process why I’m
anxious, and just accept life in this dulled-down, subhuman realm. The
problem? That anxiety hasn’t truly been addressed—it’s just been muted. And
eventually, it will resurface.
I’m not here to preach therapy. I’m not a therapist. But after spending a
decade in an NHS-funded therapy service, I’ve seen firsthand how Cognitive
Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and other models help people recognise the connection
between their thoughts, self-talk, behaviors, and emotions. And that’s great.
But what I always emphasise is this:
There. Is. No. Quick. Fix.
Mental health, like physical health, requires daily nurturing. Just like you
can’t eat one salad and expect to be fit for life, you can’t expect to wake up
happy one day without putting in the work.
And yes, food impacts mental health—who doesn’t feel sluggish after a greasy
takeaway? Exercise, too, helps dispel frenetic energy and anxiety. And then
there’s self-talk—are you being too hard on yourself? Could you shift your
perspective to something kinder, less critical?
But there’s another piece to this puzzle. And honestly? I think it’s the
most important one.
Getting out of your thoughts altogether.
Not overanalysing. Not rehashing every interaction. Not driving yourself mad
trying to figure out why someone treated you the way they did. Just letting
go.
I know, I know—easier said than done. But this is where meditation and
mindfulness come in. And wait—don’t roll your eyes! If you’ve tried it
before and given up, I’d bet good money that it’s because you didn’t stick with
it long enough.
We spend years reinforcing anxious thought patterns, yet we expect
five minutes of breathing exercises to magically undo it all? Yeah, right.
Reality check: this shit takes time!
You’ve invested years obsessing over what’s gone wrong. You can invest a few
minutes a day in rewiring your brain. Over time, meditation relaxes the body
and mind. At first, your monkey mind will fight you—telling you there’s no
time for this. But come on—24 hours in a day, and you can’t spare five
minutes? Please.
Meditation isn’t about not thinking. It’s about shifting your
attention. Focusing on your breath. On music. On a bird splashing in a puddle.
The thoughts will still come—but you’ll learn to let them drift past instead of
clinging to them. You’ll retrain your brain to stop giving anxiety centre stage.
Because here’s the truth: energy flows where attention goes.
If all your focus is on anxiety, guess what? You’ll feel more anxious. If
you shift that focus—to breathing, to movement, to being present—you’ll break
the cycle. And no, that doesn’t mean you’ll never feel anxiety again. It’s a
natural response to perceived threats. But the more you train your nervous
system to not react so intensely, the more space you create between thought
and reaction.
Managing anxiety is about awareness. It’s about realising that, while
stressors exist, you get to decide how much power they hold over you.
You can choose to wallow in negative self-talk—or you can deal with it. And
dealing with it doesn’t just mean therapy. Sometimes, healing means energetically
releasing trauma—from the body, from the mind, from the spirit.
That’s where Reiki, meditation, mindfulness, and nature connection helped
me. It wasn’t until I embraced these practices that my anxiety truly
started to shift. But everyone’s journey is different. My main message?
Anxiety isn’t your friend. You owe it no loyalty. It’s a dark energy
designed to keep you stuck, consuming, obeying, staying small. But you? You’re
more powerful than they want you to believe.
Break the system. Don’t let the system break you.
Peace and love, people!
For more on healing anxiety and trauma the holistic way, click here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Solar-Plexus-Nation-Burning-Healthcare/dp/1739490010
Comments
Post a Comment